Look at this

From the time I got my car it has been great but I have been noticing some problems with it that I might want to get checked out. I know there have been some things that I have noticed that I think are supposed to be there however it has started doing something recently and

A cool place

Looking at some of the plans we have made it seems like we have been doing a lot of stuff.  One of the places I Have been wanting to go is a ski resort where I can really get in a lot of skiing.  There are a few places like that I would like to

Complete Internet

It seems there are quite a few websites out there that let you set up your vacation plans all from a single site.  You can find the hotel where you want to stay, your car, and everything else all from the same page.  That seems pretty useful, I think, and I know of a few

Something A Little Bit More Stylish

I am trying to learn more about how to decorate my home so that it looks a bit more modern.  There are a bunch of shows on television that I watch where they show like before and after home styles and I usually really like the changes they made but that’s not something that I

A Little Overtraining

Man having joint pain sucks.  I’m not sure what is going on but my knee has been hurting for a while.  It started the other day when I got back from a run and I noticed that it was feeling a bit sore when I would walk on it.  It doesn’t hurt when I was

I’m Not a Hoarder!

I have been pretty much been online for 7 hours straight now and I don’t see myself getting offline anytime soon. I did a bunch of much needed shopping earlier this morning and got a bunch of things that I needed. I pretty much buy everything and anything I can online now because who wants to drive to a store when you don’t have to? My main purchase was some plastic containers that I found on sale. I don’t know if they are still on sale or not but you can see for yourself. I needed them because next weekend I want to tackle my downstairs which is in complete disarray. I have so much stuff down there that is unorganized that some people might call me a hoarder.

That is funny I said that because my Mom was definitely a hoarder. I didn’t really realize it as a kid growing up but she was. Her main thing was receipts and mail. She kept every single receipt she got and every piece of mail too even if it was junk. She was at least neat about it and kept them all in orderly fashion. I don’t know if you have seen that show about hoarders but she was nothing like them. Those people are disgusting and live in filth and that wasn’t her house at all. Maybe she was more obsessive compulsive about keeping those things. Anyways enough about my Mom and her crazy ways.

I have a couple more things I want to do before I get off here like I was saying. I promised my sister Alice that I would try to find a good dog breeder near us as she wants to get a puppy for my nephew. He is 12 years old and has never had a pet to himself before. She said she would look herself but she knows I’m way more proficient at the internet than her so she asked if I could do it for her. I don’t mind because it isn’t like it will take long. I commend her too for not going to a pet store where the dog would most likely come from a puppy mill. I saw a special about that on TV a few months and it broke my heart. I will never buy a dog or cat from a pet store again unless they are there from a shelter.

A Rare Opportunity

Remember how I was talking about random things happening before, well another one has happened: it turns out I’m going to Indonesia!  I have a friend who lives there, and he’s turning 30 and throwing a huge party, so he invited a ton of people.  Normally I’m not the kind of person to up and go halfway around the world for someone’s birthday party, but I’m trying to be more outgoing and social, and this is the kind of thing that doesn’t happen all the time.  In fact, this is the first time I’ve been invited to something like this.

I’ll admit, I’m feeling a bit of anxiety at the thought.  I haven’t ever been out of the country before (except to Canada this one time), and other than my friend and the people who are going, I won’t really know anyone there, and it’s an unfamiliar location, and not everyone will speak English, and all those things make me kind of nervous.  My friend assures me that everyone there is super nice, though.  In fact, that’s part of the reason he moved there.  He got sent there for a while for work, and when the assignment was up, he asked his job if he could stay there permanently.  They said yes, and so he’s been there for the last year and a half.

He’s going to show us around the countries and some of the islands.  I didn’t know this before but Indonesia is actually made up of a bunch of islands, and he said you just fly from one to the other.  He just searches for tiket Lion Air and orders online.  Oh, speaking of that, he also said Indonesian is like Spanish in that the adjectives come after the nouns, so that actually means “Lion Air tickets.”  He said Indonesian isn’t too hard and he’s more or less fluent after a year, although I suppose living there and being immersed in the language is helpful.

So the trip isn’t until next month but I’ve already started reading up on some of the places he said he’s going to take us.  Like I said, I’m kind of anxious, but I’m also excited.  Plus, I’m going to be using vacation time at work so it will be like a vacation where I get to hang out with my friends.  And not to mention, it’s winter here, and it’s going to be warm there, so it will be a nice change of weather, too.  Oh, and I haven’t even mentioned the food yet!  I hear the food is very spicy, which I love, and there are a lot of grilled meat dishes.  So I’m excited to try the food!

Time For Some New Shoes

It’s funny how small things can have a big impact on your life.  For example, about a year ago, my cousin came to visit.  He actually wasn’t originally planning on visiting, but he happened to be in the neighborhood on a business trip and so he decided to stop by and spend the weekend at my place so we could catch up and talk about whatever cousins talk about.  We actually kind of joked about that a bit because in our family we don’t really have that close of a relationship with our relatives.  I know some of my friends see their cousins and aunts and uncles and stuff pretty frequently, but it was never really like that with our family.  We’d see our cousins every few years.  Same thing with our aunts and uncles.  It’s not that we don’t like each other, it’s just that we all live so far away from each other.

Anyhoo, my cousin comes over and I took him out to dinner, gave him a tour of my town, etc.  The next morning he knocked on my door at like 8 in the morning and insisted that I go running with him.

Now, if you know anything about me, you know that I am definitely not a morning person, and that is especially true on weekends.  So eight in the morning?  Definitely not.

But wanting to be a good host, I decided I would get up and go for a run.

I’ve never been big on exercise, but I actually really enjoyed it.  Don’t get me wrong; I could barely make it mile before I had to stop running, but the point was, I got hooked.  A few days later when my legs weren’t sore anymore, I went for another run.  And then another few days later, and before I knew it, I was going a few times a week and was actually starting to think of myself as someone who goes jogging.

I joined internet forums for people who run.  I started talking to people at work about it, and of course it gave my cousin and I something to keep in touch about.  I actually noticed a few days ago that I’ve been running so much that it’s about time to get some new trainers.  Get the Label has some and you can click here to check them and I will probably end up ordering something from there in the next few days.

I still think it’s kind funny how I enjoyed going running that one time so much that it became a hobby of mine.  And I remember how much I disliked it in PE class in school.

If I keep this up I might start going to the gym and lifting weights, too.

Reply From Another Reader

Apparently “At the Bar” was a popular topic.  Another person sent in some advice for going out alone:

Something that didn’t get mentioned is the importance of social momentum when going out alone.

I spent many nights going out alone not really doing anything, just sitting there are the bar drinking my beer. I may have been too in my head to do anything, or maybe too pussy to go talk to a hot chick for the reasons mentioned above, but I would still view the night as a success. Why? Because I went out alone. That’s hard to do. Look how many people won’t even do it.

Social momentum is huge. You know how I always talk about vibes? If you’re out with friends but you’re not in the best mood, your friends can still kind of pull you through. You can get good energy from them. But if you’re out alone, it’s all on you. If you’re in a bad headspace, you’re not going to give off the right vibes. So with the social momentum, you can start really small. Talk to the bartender. Cheers the guy next to you. Talk to a dude. Dudes can be easier to open than women. You’re not trying to bang them, you’re just being social. The more people you talk to, the more social momentum you get, and the easier each interaction for that night becomes. I personally can’t usually jump into full social mode, so I have to start small and then each interaction becomes bigger and easier.

I also found that, as I got more comfortable going out alone, going out with friends got much easier. So like, on an anxiety scale of 1-10 where 1 is totally calm and 10 is freaking out, when I first started, going out alone was like a 6 or 7 (at a small bar that I was familiar with), and going out with my friends was a 4 or 5. As I became more comfortable going out alone, it became a 3 or 4, and going out with friends was like a 2. If you can go out alone, there aren’t many other situations that are going to be harder than that.

When I was going out alone, I would always go to the same bar. Why? It was small, I could usually get a seat at the bar, they had a huge beer selection, and it wasn’t usually crowded. I could literally go and have a good time by myself even if I didn’t talk to anyone.

Depending on how the night went, I would either finish up the night there, or begin my night there and head somewhere else.

Sometimes I’d meet friends there, or invite my friends there, and then I felt even more comfortable cuz it was “my place,” you know?

This was kind of an underground place. Not crowded, definitely not a sports bar, the music wasn’t super loud, it wasn’t packed full of bros and chicks who want to be seen. I wouldn’t have been comfortable going out alone to a place like that. Some people can do it, but not me. I feel like you need to be with friends at the kind of place where it’s packed shoulder to shoulder and you have to yell to the bartender for them to hear your order. Those places are only fun if you’re with a group of friends. At my current level, the social boundaries are too high at that kind of place. I’m sure that is just social conditioning, but that’s how I see it.

Reply From a Reader

In response to the post “At the Bar,” a reader sent in this advice for going out alone:

The secret to going out alone is to befriend and talk to the bartender first. When I used to go solo to the bar, that’s what I’d do. Or just sit at the bar and drink and talk to the people who sat around me. The think about talking to the bartenders is that they give you great “ins” for meeting the people around the bar without directly talking to them. You just interject into bar conversations and you wind up making some new friends and meeting some people. As you get more familiar with the people who frequent the bar, then you are never really out “alone” anymore (i.e. your initial discomfort for being there alone fades away) because now you are familiar.

Also recognize that it may take going to a few different bars before you find the one you are comfortable with. When I was going solo, I always liked Pubs…places you can go and watch sports on the TVs and drink or play pool if you wanted. Always a great way to meet new people.

Eventually, though, you need to find a handful of people you can go out with on a regular basis (if you don’t already have that). That makes the whole experience a whole lot better and you have some support for helping you meet new people.

At The Bar

Last week I went to the bar for open mic night in the middle of downtown. Dress pants, shirt – I look good, meet up with some friends there. I’m relaxing with my friends, playing Chess with my buddy and I keep glancing at these girls and eventually they come hang out behind me. A friend’s friend that came with him opened because he knew her and what not. Come to find out she wasn’t really interested in him anyway, he was persistent enough that I didn’t want to interject but wasn’t rude to her. The time that I did spend with her alone, I showed her my magic trick which wow’ed her(It always amazes people) and she said she could beat me Chess(Yeah I’m obviously not bringing that to a bar if I’m trying to win someone over) – I basically snap my finger but the sound that comes from it is thundering and reverberates.(Trust me you’d be like “WTF, that’s cool” if you saw me do it and people look silly trying to copycat me) They leave because it’s getting late and the girl that I wanted to go for seemed glued to her and she was being polite.

Here’s another thing, when I’m in public I always introduce myself as “Kevin” because for some reason people have trouble pronouncing my real name. Stupid so I use the excuse that it’s my “English” name. Which my friend also was mocking me for saying that granted he was drunk.

Here’s the catch – I’m Anaphylactic to alcohol no debate I’ve tried all sorts of alcoholic beverages.

Yes, making out with a girl who’s been drinking effects me.
I sip on a Roy Rogers all night

Tonight, I go with two friends. One of whom has no problem being confident and snagging girls up. My other friend is a little on the heavy end and I find him creepy looking but my other friend and I said we’d work together to get friend No. 2 laid. Ends up nagging me most of the night and complaining of how I’m not doing work for him. I also wore my wolf hat which I got tons of compliments from girls, who occasionally tugged on me to tell me how awesome it was. I won’t next time and then I didn’t initiate conversation with two separate girls who kept looking my way – sorry I’m new to this, I’ll adjust to gestures and body language soon enough

Halloween reference – that girl I tried to save from jail with sword in hand was there, she stared at me as I passed by her to go get quarters from the machine for the pool table. I didn’t look at her or make any gesture because she didn’t respond well to my message.(IE no interest based on her responses/review from OT lol) but maybe next time I’ll make an effort to be friendly – I should’ve said something

I’ll be going to the bar alone Friday, Saturday to test the waters solo. Then I’ll pick my wingman to go with if that doesn’t go well, girls seem to go to bars in pairs or more anyway.

Conclusion from these nights, I think I’m going to go to the bar alone that way I don’t have to deal with the hassle of my friends. I can enjoy the music, game on TV and if I want to have a conversation – I’ll initiate. When my friends are egging me on to making forced moves, it’s just out of my comfort zone and quite annoying. I’m comfortable enough with “Kino” or w/e and girls will certainly be okay with me having my hands on their back and swaying them a bit. Whispering in their eye is easy, I guess. Crazy one liners, I’m going to approach them with a quaint conversation and maybe some level of forwardness until I’m comfortable being suave with the opposite sex.

Excuse my lack of structure/grammar, I’ll fix it up when it’s not 4:AM