Reply From a Reader

In response to the post “At the Bar,” a reader sent in this advice for going out alone:

The secret to going out alone is to befriend and talk to the bartender first. When I used to go solo to the bar, that’s what I’d do. Or just sit at the bar and drink and talk to the people who sat around me. The think about talking to the bartenders is that they give you great “ins” for meeting the people around the bar without directly talking to them. You just interject into bar conversations and you wind up making some new friends and meeting some people. As you get more familiar with the people who frequent the bar, then you are never really out “alone” anymore (i.e. your initial discomfort for being there alone fades away) because now you are familiar.

Also recognize that it may take going to a few different bars before you find the one you are comfortable with. When I was going solo, I always liked Pubs…places you can go and watch sports on the TVs and drink or play pool if you wanted. Always a great way to meet new people.

Eventually, though, you need to find a handful of people you can go out with on a regular basis (if you don’t already have that). That makes the whole experience a whole lot better and you have some support for helping you meet new people.